My Natural Hair Wedding Journy

I had dreamt about having flowing and beautiful on my wedding day, but cut them 10 months before my wedding. On my big day, I wore my hair in splendid cornrows and twists with golden embellishments as seen above. The ending result was from a beautifully challenging journey of re-learning my natural hair.

My locking journey

I had worn 2 sets of locks for a little over 11 years. I loved my hair with a love I never had for any natural hairstyle. My locks became my children. I didn't let any and everybody touch them, and if I went to someone who was subpar, I would cajole my locks and soothe them because I knew when my hair didn't like the treatment.

I started locking in 1999. It was something I wanted to do so bad and finally conjured up the courage to lock. I must confess, some of it had to do with Lauryn Hill's beautiful mane and E. Badu, but shortly after, I found out that both started locking with faux locks, or synthetic hair.

E. Badu actually never locked her hair, but wore faux locks. In the natural community that was a serious faux pas. I remember E. Badu responding to the criticism by saying something like, "I may have processed hair, but I don't have a processed mind." It was a great comeback, but I was one of those sisters who was disappointed.

Nevertheless, that did not deter my process. I went to the IFBA, a locking shop in Leimert Park, an area known for black arts in Los Angeles. After about an hour I walked about when I realized that the woman was weaving my hair similar to sister locks. I wanted the old school palm roll locks. A beautiful version of Bob Marley ropes. So I went to a woman named Renee, who goes by the name of Mama Nene. Her locks swing by her thighs. They were thick and beautiful and shining.

Mama Nene worked at Good Fred's in Los Angeles. It is an old school unisex salon that is a legend in the black community. Everyone knows La Rutan, Good Fred's for either the eccentric owner, Good Fred, or the lively activity that goes on in the shop.

I went to Mama Nene and she told me to wash my hair frequently and allow it to lock on its own for about 6 months. She said my hair would begin to form these baby locks or thick tangle strands naturally. All I had to do was keep them separated, clean and moisturized.

As I later found out, it sounded a lot easier than it was. The photo above is my second time locking. It was a lot easier because I knew what to expect, but the first time around was very difficult. I was a journalist and wore my hair wrapped almost every day for about 6 or 7 months. I was ashamed of my wild child, knotting hair. And I was ashamed that I was ashamed of my hair. Me? The queen of naps, didn't like what she saw, and it resonated to the world because I didn't get a date for about 8 months.

I dealt with feelings of being unattractive and the most natural state of my hair. No gels, no press and comb, no comb at all, just locking.

I came face-to-face with what the media had told me all my life was ugly, my kinky African hair and all of its complexities. Some of the men folk thought I was crazy and some women (all black) told me in various ways that it was unprofessional. In Los Angeles in the late 90s, locking was not trending and really not cute.

I wasn't in the comfort of being on the East Coast anymore where women were way advanced in locking. I was in the weave and extension capital. Beauty was defined by the length of the weave you wore or the fake curly hair you attempted to get so you wouldn't look too black, but something like an ethnically vague woman of color.

I had to learn how to love me and my hair and get over my vanity.

Also, I learned that wrapping your hair was slowing down the process of growth because my scalp wasn't breathing. I am also still convinced that sun on our hair provides essential nourishment. So I made a bold decision to let my hair be free, and thus I freed myself from many hang ups.

As time went on, I began to really, really love my hair and its versatility.

I created a regimen that was doable and inexpensive. I learned how to roll my own hair, and begin to explore multiple products that were natural and for textured hair.

I went through goo-gobs of products, but learned that simplicity worked the best for me.

There were lots of highs with my hair, and some low points. I loved my hair when it was washed, rolled, braided and let go in a cascading crinkle. I loved it in the sun and I loved the compliments, especially by people who had never seen locked hair nor have been close to it. One of the few things I hated were people who thought they could come and touch my hair as if I were a zoo animal. Most of the time it was white folk who were amazed and some black people that were inquisitive. I would get the common statement from women, "I could never wear my hair in locks. This looks good on you." Yawn.

But my hair was fabulous.

But something in me itched about cutting them for a year leading into my engagement in February 2010. A woman once asked me, how many beds have your locks lain in? Though it was a legitimate question, it wasn't the reason why had cut them. I got married at 35, and quite frankly had been in quite a few bedrooms and am not ashamed to say I have lived, neither was my husband.

We were mature about the fact that we had lived, but there was something to say about the energy I had picked up along the way.

I wanted to cut my locks, which were almost down to the base of my back because they were heavy and the energy of them was driving me out of my mind. I used to be a lifeguard and am a water baby, and I began to have difficulty in swimming years before because my hair became cumbersome. One vivid experience was when I was in Culebra, Puerto Rico and got caught in some rough waves. Things got very scarey when my hair wrapped around my face and neck making it difficult for me to breathe or see.

The photo below is me on the trip in 2009. Though I loved the knotty dread rides again, I didn't like that I was being hindered from enjoying my favorite form of exercise, swimming.

Also, hair has energy and my locks were personal antennae that picked up peoples emotions and thinking. Sounds crazy, but ask anyone with locks, how extra-sensitive they get around people.

But overall, it was time for a anew. I had several lock stylists combine my locks without me knowing and several nights of clipping some off, and my edges were getting real thin.

So I did the unthinkable. Cut them off in the middle of winter, January 2009. My husband who is a barber had the pleasure of shearing my hair and putting some creative designs.

Though it was such a relief, my head was cold. Yikes, what was I thinking. So I wore caps and knitted headgear for about five months to grow out my hair.

One thing I didn't expect was the hard process of re-learning how to comb and care for my hair. When I cut my locks I discovered that my edges were very fragile and had thinned more than I knew and my scalp was very dry and damaged. I was heart-broken. My scalp was dry and itchy and needed a lot of TLC.

Even though my hair looked "soft" and healthy, it was brittle and two seconds from falling out. I ordered all type of products from Carol's Daughter to African Formula. They offered an initial relief of providing moisture, but it was only temporary. Within days my hair was dwindling and my scalp was sore from scratching.

To make matters worse, the harsh elements of Jersey cold weather and the heat, plus the chlorine from the indoor pools, along with the hot yoga was such a challenge. I didn't know what do do.

On top of that, as a grad student, I had limited financial resources to take care of my hair. Six months after my wedding engagement my husband and I had an engagement party in his home state of New Jersey. I waited for the last minute to get my hair done and thought it would be an easy process.

The woman I wanted, Ndjetti, was booked, and the other alternatives were dirty braiding shops in New Jersey. I decided to take a chance on a new shop that had just opened, Cut Creators. The co-owner Omar put a product of honey in my hair and worked his magic.

After two months doing hot yoga, my hair was a mess and undernourished. I thank Omar for the hair and Kamal for the eye threading.

My wedding was 2 months away and I had to continue to get into shape and take care of my hair. I was using simple oils such as coconut oil, but the temperature's in the Bikram yoga studio were killing my hair follicles. A friend recommended I use Darcy's Botanicals daily conditioner and hair cream.

This started to help my hair begin to thicken and soften.

I also had my aha moment when my future sister-in-law ran down her hair regimen, something that I had not had in a long time. I started to do things like co-wash, and rinses and lovingly comb my hair. Yes, I thought wonderful thoughts when I combed my hair.

By the time I was ready for my engagement photos, I was quite proud of my afro. I call it afrolicious because it was thick, untamed and sexy.

One of my bridesmaids, Tasha, suggested that I go to her natural hair stylist, and I am glad I did. I was still tender-headed and feared braiders, but this sister was gentle and she saturated my hair in needed shea butter. She added some synthetic hair for my twists at the top, and sent me on my way to jump the broom with Duane Reed.

Nine months later I have learned so much about my hair and myself. I am still that wild child who lets her hair do its thing. But I respect the delicate nature of my textured hair.

I have created my own hair cream and working on an oil that is heavenly.

That's me in South Africa this past January 2011, one year after the big chop. Enjoying my fro and good company.

Key Strategies to Disputing an Airline

1. Document and log everything. It is good to take notes during phone conversations.

2. Get everyone's name and title. If they refuse log the date and time you spoke to the person and the records of your call should show up.

3. Keep your telephone records of your phones just in case the records of you calling them are mysteriously erased in their data system.

4. When all else fails, go to the top. They are providing a service that you paid for and you have the right as a customer to complain to the CEO and board if need be.

5. Write a letter of complaint that incorporates solutions to better the services of the airline. It helps the company to know you are not just another nasty customer who wants to bash them.

6. Detail the person(s) who were unprofessional and explain why you were offended. These people should not be representing the company and I guarantee you are not the first dissatisfied customer.

7. Commend all those that helped in the difficult process. I wrote a commendation for three women that were very helpful in this case. The first one was the young lady at DELTA who took a concerted effort to help. I wish her the best, DELTA needs her, and certainly AIR FRANCE.

8. Keep copies of everything.

9. Follow up is the last important key to completing your complaint. If you don't hear from them, bug the hell out of them until you get a reply that is sufficient. Let me remind you that airlines are big companies and your sufficiency may exceed theirs.

Protecting Your Identification

When traveling internationally make two color photocopies of your passport and laminate them. Leave one with a trusted person at home and carry one with you on your trip just in case your identification gets lost, damaged, or stolen.

Also, in cases where you think your passport will get wet or lost, it would be wise to use your photocopied passport while your original is in a safe and secured place. Some places to store your passport while on your trip: place in a room, hotel or cabin safe; lock up your passport in a drawer; find a discrete place in your room to hide it; place it in the care of someone you know, I mean you absolutely know you can trust.

Going Tropical? Go Natural

When you are traveling to a tropical climate like the Caribbean, the South (during the rainy season), Brazil, Africa (during rainy season), leave all perfume and heavily scented body oils at home because the mosquitoes will definitely eat you alive. The combination of the chemicals in these sweet substances and the high contents of sugar in your blood (American and European diets are high in sugar) will get you nasty multiple bites that often leave ugly marks for months. On top of that you will be miserable and very uncomfortable, plus might increase your risk for sickness.

Use natural/organic and preferably unscented everything-----from your shampoo and lotion to the detergent you wash your clothes before traveling. It will make a difference. And please stay away from the hotel's free hair and body products because it is so sweet and filled with chemicals that the bugs love. The critters will be waiting for you to step outside so they can feast on you. The best thing to do is keep it simple and natural.

NATURAL PRODUCTS TO CONSIDER

Hair & Body Moisturizers- Pure Coconut Oil works many wonders; it also soothes sunburns and prevents sunburn. So instead of pouring on that stinky white thick sunscreen that has so many harmful chemicals, lather with coconut oil.

Soap - Unscented castile soap or glycerin soap. Castile soap can also be used as a shampoo.

Deodorant – Baking soda, natural crystal stone, spray or roll on, or an unscented deodorant.

Bug Repellant – Mix citronella oil with peppermint oil.

Internal bug repellant – Eat lots of garlic. I know this method sounds unattractive, but trust me when I say that while in the tropics a little garlic will not hurt your game at all, folks are not as pretentious. You will still get your groove on and quite frankly you will keep away colds and a lot of human bug-a-boos.

Friction Relief (FOR THE THICK WOMEN) - Oh yes, for those of us who have thick thighs and D-cups, many of us use baby powder to relieve friction. Use arrowroot powder instead. It is odorless and better on the body in terms of it absorbing natural substances.

Vaginal Odor and discharge - For one when I travel to tropical climates, it is usually hot so I try not to wear any panties. But hey, that's for the uninhibited. However, for vaginal odor, wipe yourself with PURE aloe vera gel, not the 99% gel in that big bottle. Go to the health food store and get some gel. Wipe yourself with a white cotton cloth or fabric. This will ease odor and itch. As for discharge, it can be many things so I would lay off of thongs, color panties, lots of sugar, and bring ALL NATURAL pantiliners. IF you go to the health food store, they cost about US $4.00 for 35 liners. It is a great investment you might want to use even after the trip.

Additionally, in the past people have recommended Avon's SKIN SO SOFT (this is not a natural product, but I've heard good reviews about it in African travel) as a mosquito repellent, but the smell was so strong for me I was gagging when I put it on.

Fighting an Airline & Winning

Two years ago my siblings and I arranged for our parents to go on a "romantic" trip to Paris for their 35th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, the initial elation of the destination wore off as me and several family members, including my parents, went round-for-round with one of the undisputedly, "rudest", commercial airlines, AIR FRANCE…and won!

My mother being a French teacher, and from a French speaking region in Louisiana was floored by the surprise trip we presented to she and my father at their anniversary party. She never visited France, though teaching the language since the 70s. Why? Well, she had six children and as everyone knows that life happens. Everyone was teary-eyed when she jumped up-and-down after reading her itinerary. Finally, she would take a trip she had dreamed of so many years ago.

We booked the tickets in August so they could leave in September. However, their plans were stumped when my father became gravely ill, was hospitalized, and told that he could not travel. I phoned Air France to see what I could do and I was given instructions to cancel my first tickets, re-purchase some more then write to the airline's headquarters in Florida to request a refund. My mother and I followed the directions in detail and about a week before they were to board, I got my money back.

Their flight was out of New York, but they live in Los Angeles, so we arranged for them to arrive in NYC early enough to comfortably travel. Everything was going great until they attempted checked in. They discovered that AIR FRANCE cancelled the wrong tickets! That was when all hell broke loose.

For almost 48 hours we were embroiled in a nasty, and I mean nasty fight with some of the discourteous, unprofessional, and cowardice customer service people you ever want to come across. At first, I thought, hey, it was a little mistake by AIR FRANCE, they can fix it. All they have to do is just book them on the appropriate flight and they're off to gay Paris. Oh, but hell no, AIR FRANCE told my parents they would not honor their previously purchased tickets and that they had to pay the current rate which was almost $2000.00 more than the original price.

Of course they refused and demanded to speak to a manger. The people at the counter conveniently explained that they really weren't AIR FRANCE, but DELTA, and that my parents had to get in contact with the proper airline. Don't you just love beaurocratic bullshit?

Well, we started with customer service. That poor guy didn't know his arse from his the holes in his nose. So we asked for the guy's manager, who was such a nasty bitty, I still wonder how she got to be "manager" of customer service based in Canada. But that title is still in question because these people refused to give their names or corporate information when I requested it—totally out of protocol.

Then I called the headquarters in southern Florida, but the woman who brought up the case files also rejected my request to assist in getting them on a flight and also refused to give her name. This was after I waited for almost twenty minutes on my cell phone. It seemed as if everyone was double-checking with the other so that they wouldn't give the wrong information and stay in wrong position. However, they didn't know my family, we are relentless and we are strategists.

I can give you all the details, but just to let you know there was a lot of ball passing, playing dumb, and then finally, people hanging up on us when we called because they knew who we were. All along, we logged every detail of this fiasco. I even faxed and phoned the headquarters of KLM (a partner of AIR FRANCE), and AIR FRANCE's headquarters.

There was one ray of hope. I knew that AIR FRANCE partnered with DELTA, so I called Delta so see if they could clear up what had gotten into a shitty mess. I was on the phone for about three or four hours with the nicest customer service representative who indeed fought for me. She told me that AIR FRANCE was supposed to at the very least, offer my parents to purchase tickets at the rate they originally bought them and then commit to investigating the situation further so they could get a refund. She was very upset at the story I retold and went back-and-forth with her supervisor. The most she could do was to extend the original price through DELTA and my parents ended up buying a third pair of tickets.

By this time, my parents have spent a night in New York. The hotel in Paris told me that it was too late to cancel and the charges would still end up on my credit card. My mother, who suffers from rheumatoid arthritis was exhausted and doubled over in pain. Everyone was else was pissed!

Finally, when my parents went to check in with their new DELTA tickets the bastards at AIR FRANCE refused to honor them. It was on again!

Luckily, I lived in Atlanta at the time, the headquarters of DELTA. So I went to the office and requested to speak to the manager of AIR FRANCE. My strategy was the non-threatening, very rational black woman façade. So, I put on my Anne Klein suit and pulled back my locks, slapped on the heels, took the car to get a quick wash. Please, don't let my locks fool you. I've had a time or two, or three in corporate America.

Well, I got some answers and some progress. I spoke to the regional manager, who was quite polite. I asked if arrangements could be made so that my parents could be placed in first class. They weren't, but that was alright. They finally made it, a day late, but not a dollar short because DELTA refunded the third pair of tickets they purchased.

However, the fat lady did not sing. I wrote a detailed argument of the dilemma and sent it to AIR FRANCE's headquarters in Florida. They didn't respond to the first packet, but they did to the second correspondence. My parents were given approximate $500.00 back for the fiasco.

The process was very exhausting and I was very disappointed with AIR FRANCE. However, when I look at the photos of my parents that I have graciously shared, my mother's smile and my father's satisfaction are worth it. I would do it again.

Remedy for Seasickness and Bubble Guts

The cruise line industry has seen a huge surge in black travelers; especially black women. If you are a cruise fanatic or you are preparing to take your first trip—BEWARE—you might get seasick during your trip.

If you are trying to avoid that to happen, then get a cabin on the upper decks of the ship. Cabins in the lower decks rock more with the waves. During my first cruise experience I got this great deal on Hotwire.com, and caught the second to the lowest deck. I was heaving big time in the beginning.

No need to swear off cruises and get cold feet at the idea of the sea. A good remedy for seasickness is ginger.

You can cop it in a capsule as a powder; get it in a tincture (those small amber bottles with the little eye droppers); buy some ginger tea bags (get a strong herbal tea b/c some of those cheaper ones are diluted and ineffective); or if you can, sneak in some raw ginger root. Raw is the best, but for convenience, capsules and the tincture are fine. Just be sure to double up.

Ginger is also good for nausea and bubble guts. The properties of ginger soothe the digestive system. Many women use ginger for morning sickness during pregnancy.

Oh yes, let me mention a sex tip with ginger. This medicinal root stimulates the blood, It is a very hot herb literally, so if you sip on some ginger tea before sex, it will heat up your pyramidal structure and increases the orgasm. HELL YEAH!

This is also great for men's prostate which gives them a harder, stronger erection.

So don't be scurred. Get your ginger on!

Bewitching Cruise Germs

As I was boarding Royal Caribbean this summer, attendants stood at every door passing out Purel sanitary wipes. My first reaction was, "What the fu*k!?" Then there was this recorded message from the captain in each room explaining that there was a virus that was spreading, especially on cruise ships. He encouraged everyone to take safety measures, but also encouraged people to do civilized things like washing their hands and ass before they ate.

Cruise ships bring a whole wave of folk. Many of the travelers are from the United States, Europe, Austrailia, and Canada—with splotches of other nationalities. Also, much of the workers come from different parts. Then you have the day trips to different tropical islands that bring another element. There are so many factors in getting sick, but the main one is tht there is a huuuuuuuuggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeee cultural divide in the concept of cleanliness.

Other than the nightly vomit spots and secretions on some lawn chairs, you can come into contact with the serious shit—literally. Since I was a pool lifeguard for 10 years I don't care too much for chlorinated water, so I stay away from pools. The main reason—on several occasions, the swimming facilities on the ship was terminated because people defecated in the pool.

As a pool lifeguard, I know about these disgusting situations. In order for that to be completely removed, a pool's water has to gradually be sucked out while new water comes in while buckets of chlorine and acid (to balance the PH levels of the water). However, the Royal Caribbean used recycled water and that shit is not fly. Recycled water brings a host of illnesses that can be deadly to children, the elderly, and those with weakened immune systems. If you check out water parks, they must deal with that regularly.

During my time on the Royal Caribbean, I did not go into the pool area, but as a water baby and member of the black surfer's association I tried out a simulated surfer machine. I thought the water was like the other cruises where they siphoned water from the sea. This is much cleaner because salt is great for getting rid of infections. Every went into the ocean with a cut! Ouch!

Anyway, the water on the Wind Surfer was recycled and it was dingy as hell. So I was swimming in piss, suntan lotion, and all types of body secretion. The next day, my whole body was covered in uncomfortable hives.

Oh, but it didn't stop there. Children were throwing ice cream cones in the Jacuzzi. People were smelling like death ran over them twice. Then there were those that ate directly from the buffet trays with their fingers.

So cruise is pleasurable, but take your personal disinfectant and spray it in your room, and keep some at all times. It can be as simple as a small bottle of rubbing alcohol.

Get on the Bus, Chinatown Express Bus Lines Dominate the Road

by Cali Santana

So you're a jet-setter at heart. Got folks spread up & down the coast. You're super ready to hit the road. And lastly, but quite importantly...you are traveling on a TIGHT budget. And like most make-it-happen Excursionista types, you would never allow that tight budget to keep you from your destination. You have an entire world that awaits you!

Well, if just getting there has been an issue for you, and if you aren't hip to the Chinatown Express (CE), this blog will change your life. This is your passport to making it happen, with enough comfort and convenience to boast about. It's your easy fix to somewhere close and/or far. For a small nominal fee, you can get to most highly visited states, and select major & minor cities within those states. From Boston, to NYC, to Phila, to Norfolk, VA – you name it & the Chinatown Express is there!

"I don't do buses"

Okay. I feel you. Quite frankly I didn't either, until the Chinatown Express. My first experience on the CE was in 2004 and some friends from out West were meeting up in the City. I wanted to go…had to go…but I wasn't too sure how I wanted to make that happen.

1) There was no reason to drive to NYC. From prior experience, this never seemed like a good thing to do. Specifically, I was staying in Manhattan so it made absolutely no sense to have the hassle of a car to deal with.

2) I was in graduate school. So you know that the funds were LOW! I couldn't travel as leisurely as my natural self would have liked so I had to pay very close attention to the funds.

3) All things considered, I was still bourgeoisie with the travel. Let me be real about that. My thinking was like what yours may be: I just don't do buses. I just don't get along with Greyhound. The train is cool, but I may as well purchase an airline ticket. Right?

Well somehow, someway, I was introduced to the Chinatown Express and it all clicked with me. My ever growing appreciation of 'something new' surfaced, or it may have been my hearing that they sometimes show Japanese/anime movies. It may have been that the CE informant (whoever you are-thank you!) just dazzled me that much, or maybe it was the fact that somebody outside of the normal stronghold provided a cost effective alternative, and I liked that!

Regardless of what the reason, it was enough to make up my mind. I was getting on the bus.

Pick up was at some random spot on Broad Street (I was back in Richmond, VA at the time). Pops brought me up there & it was all legit. It looked like some storefront Chinese spot with a handwritten neon orange sign in the window. Don't be alarmed, everything looks official now – the signs from city to city are standard so no need to consider sketchiness. I personally liked the bootleg feel. The brothers and sisters running the ship were very cool and helpful as well. I went in to purchase & just like that the deal was done. Much less hassle than most travel transactions I've had to make.

The CE was clean & just seemed larger in size (compared to Greyhound). On a regular basis I've had a row to myself (2 seats) & of course you have to love this. During that particular trip, I got on the bus at 1AM & I was in NYC by the first speck of daylight the very next morning!

It was an easy & restful ride, so by the time I got to The City I was ready to start the day. We pulled right into Chinatown & the stop was conveniently close to the subway which is great. No travel sluggishness that morning. Everything went smooth.

"I'm game. Just get me started."

Check out the website. www.chinatown-bus.org is the most comprehensive site for the various lines and destinations. It includes departure & pick-up times & locations, and pricing, and direct contact information.

And for my West Coast massive, it looks like the CE is also in Cali now! With destinations ranging from LA, to Vegas, to SanFran, to Reno – you are bound to get your travel game on at a more than reasonable price.

On the East Coast, the states are so close together that you're paying close to nothing for the ride. Literally, 20 bucks RT from Phila-NYC. From DC-NY it's about 35 bucks RT. Overall the price varies between distance, mileage & frequency. And once you compare airline tickets & fees, or driving accessories such as parking, tolls, and gas – the Chinatown Express is a complete win for a quick trip.

They recommend arrive 30 minutes before the CE leaves & I say that it's mandatory. Again, consider the city you're leaving from & what time of day it is. For example leaving out of NYC on a Sunday afternoon at 4 or 5 is major! You need to be there in advance & in a line to make sure that this happens. After a while you'll get a feel for what works best, but as with anything, the early bird catches the worm. CPT & APT are not on the same clock. Chances are that they will depart on time.

If you are paying on the spot, you must have cash. I've forgotten this once in the past, and worked up a sweat to making what could have been an avoidable ATM dash. Never again. Nowadays, I purchase my ticket on line & have it on hand at the point of arrival. Be sure to print off two copies if you're traveling RT.

One of the coolest features of the Chinatown Express (besides the low cost!) is the fact that you can use the ticket for up to a year of the purchase date. So depending on how much of a drifter or floater you are on your travels, there's no big fuss over heading back on the day you stated. Another plus is that the ticket you purchase is not name specific. So you can pass a ticket to a buddy if need be.

And while I thought my first time would be my last time, I have undeniably been proven wrong. The Chinatown Express has become one of my trusty, when in doubt resources – mainly for big cities where I have folks & family with wheels and access to get around.

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I've taken the CE for day trips to NYC to celebrate with friends. Weekend trips to help relocating friends in Phila move. It's easy, reliable, and convenient. So in effort to keep my standard, I still say "I don't do buses". But I'll also be honest & say that I do the Chinatown Express! So get on the bus, and don't forget to let your Excursionista Crew know all about it…safe travels.

Cali Santana is a business woman-on-the-go who treks up-and-down the east coast, and sometimes makes mad dashes to central and south America. A country-city sista who has her own company called Virtual self, also dabbles in poetry, and is preparing to publish her first book for young girls. Cali Santana is Excursionista's business travel editor, but she is more than just work!

Losing My Virtue in U.S.V.I.

Ever had an orgasm in a pirate's castle? Well, I did one night. After being driven up a narrow cobble-stoned road on hot day in Charlotte Amalie, the small, but bustling capital of St. Thomas Virgin Island, I excitedly squealed at the stunning view before me.

Overlooking the lazy harbor as it accented the view of vividly painted houses indiscreetly situated on hills opulent in vegetation, for a minute I was in heaven. The bed and breakfast I visited was Blackbeard's Castle, once a fortress for treachery and debauchery, and a lookout for the Danes who once occupied the island, the site is now one of the island's noted couple getaways.

The room I stayed in was a mixture of the new and convenient pleasantries of the latest inns, but maintained an old world field. Ensconced in beautiful silence, it was just the type I needed for an intense night of self-reflective or profound, swashbuckling lovemaking.

The next day, I continued a tour called Made in the USVI; however, I must admit, in no particular order am I telling this story…just from found recollections. I recall the potency of enticing scents bouncing off the walls of Gail Garrison's Island Fragrances. A local store operated by a sister with unrivaled perseverance, and damn good products that she makes with flowers, fruits & herbs grown locally. The essences of mangoes, frangipani, hibiscus and passionflower are found in everything from her perfumes to men's aftershave. Garrison was rivaling Bath & Body Works with natural fragrances when things such as Carol's Daughters and the long list of smell-good lathers & lotions were just a notion.

Also, how could I forget the Broom Man, who perfected the art of interweaving African tradition and the island's rich culture into brooms of palm fronds? Or Cheryl Miller's tasty jams, jellies, and sauces void of the pesticides and soulless manufactured mush.

For me, there were two pungent experiences on St. Thomas. I was given directions to a local market where the local women would bring their wares and produce to sell. I was told it was the former auction block that evolved into another type of marketplace. Deep.

I was so enthused to see the older sisters in starched white dresses with palm frond hats that resembled Fulani nomads; I took the liberty of snapping photos. Well, they all turned their backs and some hissed at me. A man pulled me aside and said that it was an insult to take pictures of them without their permission. I was lucky because he told me that they usually threw fruit.

I was very embarrassed and checked myself. I was treating my folk like they were zoo displays. I'm from Los Angeles, South Central that is, and if anybody came up to me snapping photos, I would have thought it was the police and probably cursed them out while confiscating the camera. So yes, I understood…that was a lesson I needed to learn.



The second experience was when we flew to what is the most subdued island water in the Caribbean, St. Croix. The third of the Virgin Island trinity, it is the only island in the West Indies completely surrounded by the Caribbean Sea. The warmth and peace of the salty water was like an oversized Jacuzzi, but cleaner so I spent as much time as I could to float in the quiet waves, or as the folks told me, sea bathe.

In the square, there was a quaint women's marketplace that sold foods, hand-crafted items, and one woman, with the humblest spirit offered an organic body product-line called Selah. A company named after her and created for one of her daughters who suffer from eczema, the Rastafarian sister's product was alive with spirit. She told me that she walked through the bush and was told what herbs to pick to make her line. I took some home for my niece who battles dry-skin and it really worked.

St. Croix is such a picturesque island that it was hard for me to part.

The nine-mile island of St. John is more wildlife than residential. Home of the home of the Virgin Island National Park it is great to lazily sail around the island waving kisses to the nearby Tortola British Virgin Island. At one juncture on St. John, it is only a one-mile swim to the island that has built quite a reputation for Headonistic parties during full moons. This legend was built on the backs of (mostly) white tourists that come and dump their deviance on a vulnerable island that depends on tourism as a main source of income.

St. John also hosts quite a few artisan studios and galleries. I perused through several class makers, sculptures, and other magicians creating awe-inspiring pieces from thin air. There selection of places to stay has increased since I've visited; however, it is more B&B focused and rental condos, homes, or apartments where you just do you. After all, two-thirds of the island is preserved for wildlife, which also is a sight to behold.

In some ways St. Thomas is idyllic, especially if you find a driver to take you into the mountains and convene with the real day-to-day folk who make the island. I actually hopped on a city bus that went the furthest into the island and got a private showing free of blaring conversation by a tour guide or cheesy tourists.

In others, it can be quite a party. There are nightly clubs that range from rub-a-dub to hip-hop to pop and house along the tourism path. However, the best party is during St. Thomas' carnival which is in the beginning of spring. This year it is the first week of April.

The zenith of my trip was a visit to the cigar shops…yes, you heard right. I think I took my love of stogies from another life, but I totally indulged in a variety of a dozen cigars. Also, I could not leave without getting a couple of bottles of Cruzan rum. That sugar cane works miracles.

For those of you who prefer diving into clothes, jewelry, hand-made shoes, island spices, and all the like, the duty-free shopping in the Virgin Island is actually the best of the Caribbean. Plus, you can barter as well and not get into a lot of hoopla with the shopkeepers and vendors since they are American citizens and don't sweat you like other islands where the exchange rate in currency is absolutely exploitative. However, your money will stretch longer with the vendors.

A Pot & A Hot Plate

For years I was a strict vegan until I broke down in South America and ate some grilled fish when I couldn't find a good restaurant that catered to my lifestyle. What I know now probably would have kept me on that path, a food regimen I wish I would've stuck to some days. Any who, I still am very sensitive to a host of foods I haven't eaten since 1994. Sometimes I break out in hives or have an itchy face when I unintentionally consume something that I'm not used to.

For example, a couple of years ago right before I was to take a spa getaway weekend in Temecula, Calif., my aunt made a batch of collard greens for the holidays. She put pork in it, though she told me otherwise. I took a bite and spit them out! Unfortunately, that did not save me, not even five minutes later, my lips started swelling and I had hives around my mouth and nose the whole weekend. I was miserable, but the red clay bath and mineral spa made me feel somewhat better. Oh well, I just charge those incidents to the game and keep it pushing.

That incident wasn't as bad as the time I drank liquor after abstaining for six years and damn near threw up on the most hideous blind date I have ever experienced. On a serious note, your health is the most important thing when you travel, and now I take measures by taking a snack stash during my travails. It is something like hood girl meets the ultimate survivor equates to a badasssss sister preparation kit. I bring water, trail mix, some granola bars, spirulina, roasted seaweed, and senna capsules (this keeps the bowels moving).

Another tip was dropped on me when I was reading this Yoga magazine some months ago. An instructor said that she brings a hot plate and a pot wherever she goes to stick to her simple foods. She also takes a bag of rice and lentils to prepare in her room. Brilliant! Not only does it keep you on track, but it cuts your traveling costs. Now, I'm not saying eat beans and rice every day, but if you supplement one meal with a hot plate and pot dish, or something you can prepare on your own, that puts spending money in your pocket for something else.

Of course there are some places where you can't transport produce, so consider dried fruits, veggies, and nuts. Also, snack bars such as granola bars go a long way too. I took some ginger treats, soy beef jerky, and protein bars. Besides the gas I got from all the soy in the fake jerky and protein bars, I was good!

Buddy Pass Nightmare

Who would’ve thought the 90 degree weather and gorgeous landscape of Los Angeles would be my worst nightmare? I surely didn’t, but I was stuck in LAX airport, sick as a dog, on my cycle, and oh, wearing the same panties for two days. That was not a good look. So let me tell you my little story of the buddy pass nightmare.

In the past, I have heard several people speak of using the privileges of family or close friends who work for various airlines. They are given deeply discounted tickets called a "Buddy Pass". Since I’m juggling a doctoral program and expensive East Coast living, this "opportunity" fit my budget.

When I took my trip, I soon found out that in the long run, you waste time, money, and possibly, your sanity.

The catch with the Buddy Pass system is that you are placed on standby with other people who have Buddy Passes. The people in standby fill up empty seats on the plane. However, it is not on a first come, first serve basis. You are placed in order of seniority, which is according to the hire date and status of the airline employee you went through. Within this system, all employees who want to fly on your flight are given top priority of all Buddy Pass users. With my "hook up" I was placed on the bottom of every flight. That is where I got stuck.

Going to Los Angeles, was okay. I was booked to leave at 8 am, and ended up being on a 4:50 pm flight. I was so anxious I shrugged off the wait and just said "bump it, let me go see my folks". While there, I caught a killer flu with night chills, an ugly cough and phlegm everywhere. That was so not sexy. I couldn’t wait to just go back to the east and rest.

Leaving Los Angeles was the killer. My destination only had about five to six flights a day, and in the middle of Easter holiday and Spring break, everybody was trying to leave. The first day, everything was booked solid and probably about 7 standbys got through. I was exhausted, so I left before the last two flights and re-booked for the next day. That day the standby list went up to 30 people, and some names were asking for three and four seats! The way everybody else and their mama were being called to board, it felt like everyone had the lottery ticket, but me.

To top it off, LAX is such a busy and grossly underdeveloped airport. It is ill-equipped to handle large crowds and many of the terminals have a limited and substandard selection of restaurants and stores. And of course, I was at one of the bootleg terminals. How many flimsy burritos and wraps can a sister eat?

Finally, my parents who were getting tired of dropping me off and picking me back up volunteered to buy me a ticket. I was embarrassed and humbled. By the third day, I was finally in New York and looking like holy hell. I missed three days of school, and two days of work. Not a good look, hey, but I’m here to tell you. I’s made it!

Let me note I’m not totally knocking the Buddy Pass system. I would do it again if I had to and I think it is a great incentive for employees. I have heard great stories about the Buddy Pass system, but I suggest for future users to do their homework on the destinations of their choice.

If it is a hot-spot city like Los Angeles, Miami, and New York, check the seat availability on the flights before you commit. Also, in high travel season, you might want to go somewhere less busy or consider paying full price.

A frequent Buddy Pass user suggested one should consider red-eye flights, but I’ve noticed that they have become quite popular for people paying full fare.

Whatever, your mode of travel, the best thing to do is plan for a rainy day. In my case, I forgot my umbrella.

Guest House Accommodations: Deep Travel Discounts

The second and sometimes biggest expense in traveling is food and lodging, especially if you opt to patronize a large hotel chain. For example, I stayed at a hotel that was $800 US dollars a night in Barbados. It was a top-of-the-line, all-inclusive luxury hotel, but with that amount of money, I could’ve gotten more for a lot less.

Years ago while visiting Bermuda I was introduced to the concept of guest housing. It is where the local people rent out a portion, or all, of their house, to tourists for a fraction of the fee you would pay at a hotel. You usually get meals with the package, and if need be, alcoholic beverages, and most importantly, an authentic view of the region you are visiting.

Often, if you are a nice cool guest, your hosts’ family and neighbors show you around at a minimal cost or even no charge…something you would not experience at a Hilton that charges you for everything.

For instance, in Barbados, the tourists in the nearby hotels and inns were charged $75 and $100 US dollar for 20 minutes on a jet ski! Me, I went to the beach with a local friend and was given a free ride, plus a nice coconut drink (with a splash of rum). For the price of shooting-the-shit and talking Island-American politics, that night, I was introduced to local eateries and clubs popular to the island folk. I was embraced as one of the local people (more so a pseudo-local) and charged significantly less than a tourist.

Some people might purse their lips in disapproval at the thought of living at someone else’s home, but just think of the hundreds or even thousands of people, even pets that have slept on that hotel room you have stayed in…no matter how fancy it has been. Owners of guest homes are usually very proud of their abodes and give you the best, even if it is off of their own backs. And their food can be off the chain! Guest House owners want to provide you with a sound impression to keep you coming back and to garner more business from your referrals. Also, many are interested in forging a genuine connection that could even lead to a future home swap if comfortable.

How do you find a good guest house?

For first timers, ask a trusted friend or professional of possible lodging that suits your tastes. Check their referrals and collect references to ensure that the homes are legit. You would be surprised at the number of guest homes popping up in high travel regions. Many are from natives, and even foreigners that have made some tropical island their home are cashing in, in this fast-growing small venture. It is always easy to use this resource in a region that speaks your same language or accommodates your language needs.

If you don’t have any contacts, it is best to arrange for a day or two in a hotel then go search for accommodations. Where do you go? Start with the people who work in your hotel, they are great resources and can usually connect you.

If not check the phone book and newspapers or ask local tourist agencies and travel bureaus. Guest homes are usually numerous. It might seem a hassle, but it can be very adventurous and your first lesson at learning your place of travel.

Also, one point of contention I must profess are rude and snooty travelers. If you are a difficult person, it will be best to stay at hotel. You will not have a good time because local people love to please, but they don’t take any bullshit. I just spoke to a guest house on one of the out islands of Bahamas and she said she avoids anyone who is rude, overly demanding, or snappy on the phone…so all you prissy and crabby people BEWARE!

How do I pay?

Usually, a down payment is needed for guest homes because they rely on committed customers and those who are not wish-washy. It is best to pay a small portion up front (roughly 10%) and the rest once you arrive. Now, I must say, if you commit and you are not satisfied, it might be tough getting that 10 percent back, so be very sure of your choice.

As far as cash or credit card, I prefer cash and a receipt to ensure that nothing else is charged to my name. If a charge card is mandatory, get one that is a little bit more than what you have to pay for the hotel so there will not be any illegal activity that will have your pockets slim.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

All-in-all it is best to try guest homes in an area you are familiar. If you are too green, you can get caught up. However, most of the predators are the visitors rather than the locals. So when you see an overly-tanned white man, hold your purse and RUN!

Hair Myths or Hair Facts? You Decide

Essence.com posted an article on hair myths, see if you agree with Tia Williams' post.

Top Five Black Hair Myths

What's true and what's not when it comes to black hair? celebrity hairstylist Ursula Stephen set rumors straight.

By Tia Williams

While it goes without saying that we adore our grandmothers, some of the hair gems they passed down to us could be filed under "Old Wives Tales" (raise your hand if you thought white hair naturally grew faster than Black hair). Here, we sat down with celebrity hairstylist Ursula Stephen -- she's responsible for Rihanna's trendsetting tresses -- to get the real deal on the top five Black hair myths.

MANE MYTH: Trimming your hair will make it grow faster.

TRESS TRUTH: "While frequent trims are great for removing split ends, they don't actually make your hair grow faster," says Ursula. That being said, don't skip your trims! If you ignore split ends for too long, they can creep up the hair shaft, and then you'll need to snip off more than you bargained for. Regular snips every 6 to 8 weeks will keep your coif looking crisp and clean.

Click here for more of the story.

Hair Preparations for the Big Day

Healthy hair starts months before your wedding. Begin to think about and explore the various ways to wear your hair, as well as, ensure that your hair is its healthiest.

There are several things that are a must to start that journey:

1. Eat lots of veggies and fruits. It is best to have a diet high in green vegetables, like collars, kale and turnip greens. According to Wholefoods, these green veggies have high nutritional density when compared to other fruits and vegetables.

Here is a little PSA for those who already eat collards. Please leave out neckbones and cooking your greens for hours because it kills all the vitamins and nutrients. You can cook greens under 30 minutes and they will be cooked. Yes, a little crunchy, but great for the body.

2. Drink Plenty of H2o. You absolutely must irrigate your temple with fresh and vibrant liquids. Water is a life necessity, and it will be absolutely beneficial by getting into the habit of drinking as much as you can a day, even after the 6 glasses of 8 ounces. Truthfully, that is just a guestimation based on the average person's build and weight, but the heavier you are, the more water intake you should be allowing.

A benefit to water is flushing out toxins, hydrating organs, skin & hair, plus losing weight. Yes, water helps with weight regulation. And I am not talking about Vitamin Water or Crystal Light. Clear and pure water.

3. Exercise. When you move, not only are strengthening muscle, shedding fat, and making your bones more durable, but you are also creating more blood flow throughout your body, thus producing more oxygen. The better the flow, the better environment for cells to produce skin, a healthy supply of air and blood to your scalp, thus it will help grow hair.

4. Air out your weave and/or de-stress hair roots. Rapid rates of hair loss have been attributed to weaves and stress on hair lines such as tight braids and ponytails. It is absolutely necessary that you keep your hair clean, and your roots breathing. Today's weaves and wigs are available by the dozen and in so many fabulous styles, but it is coming at a cost, they are made with cheap, toxic chemicals that are causing young women to start balding.

As well, stylists who pull the hair back too tight are gradually, permanently damaging hair lines especially at the temples. Case and point, the fabulous Susan L. Taylor's hair has become a quasi-push back due to years of the same cornrows spiraling down her back.

5. Understand the importance of scalp health when achieving or maintaining hair health. Your scalp is the root to great hair. Many of us pay attention to our hair with various products and forget the ground in which it spouts. If your hair is brittle, breaking, or you have dandruff, go to the root of the problem, your scalp.

It is recommended to through away thick pomades, oils, greases, creams and sheens that rob scalps of health because they clog the pores and shafts that hair grow.

6. Create a hair care regime. Just like you have an eating, exercising and praying schedule, put a hair care regime on the list. Your scalp and hair need to be a regular pamper session.

7. Reduce stress. Living in abundant stress not only slows hair and increases weight gain and the likelihood to develop health issues, but it also causes severe hair loss. Create ways to deal with stresses in a balanced and healthy lifestyle. My suggestion, take up a long, lost hobby you loved as a child, or always wanted to do. That puts you in a place of innocent pleasure without any strings attached.

7. Love your hair. For women of color, and women with curls, we are raised in a culture that does not celebrate our hair. Many of us have been subjected to hair care treatments since we were girls that changed our natural hair because it was too unmanageable or "nappy" as our female folk would call it.

Many of us cringe at our natural hair, or our hair period, and often curse in exasperation when combing it. Face it, we got kinks, it ain't going away. Matter of fact, it is something of extraordinary beauty, that many stare at in awe.

A perfect hair day is totally loving your hair.

Good & Married

Sun Rah and I have been permanently tied at the hip for 4 months and I can just now say that I have recuperated. I was so exhausted for months and I didn't even want to see a wedding that I am just now getting back to this blog.

Here are a few little words of wisdom that I learned from my experience.

Trust your wedding planner (If they are good).
Rest, rest, rest, rest, rest before your wedding.
Write down all that you need to know before the day because you will forget everything.
Photos are everything.
A good deejay is required.
Good food is a definite.
Wonderful venue seals the deal.

TTYL
Namibia