I Want to Be Free

I'm feeling a little blue today because I have come to a serious road block, but I am learning that the more you give energy into it, the bigger it will manifest.

I sending light to the stars and galaxies and all the ascended spirits to help me through jumping the broom. I am nervous about pulling it off without breaking the pockets.

Damn I respect wedding planners and I surely got love for mine. In the meantime as I sweat it out over a ceremony/reception site, I had to play a new video from a sister who shatters the boxes around her.

Reception Blues & Lessons from Disasters

Last night I went to a wedding reception of one of Sun-Ra's childhood friends. I am still recuperating from the complete mess.

I should've known it was a disaster when I noticed no one was smiling when we came in fashionably late.

I took some photos and went straight to the buffet because I was starving. There was ample food left so I was delighted.

I rocked back-and-forth as the Kompa/Compas (Haitian music) was playing. You know I get happy when I'm hungry and about to eat.

I moved the used ugly teal napkins of people who left and sat on a chair covered in a white, slightly molded looking cloth. "Okay," I thought, "This is a budget-friendly wedding."

And then I bit into the food...subsequently losing my appetite. Absolutely gross.

OMG, never mess with a hungry black woman!

I attempted to recover and look for an opened bottle of wine. I saw people who had bottles as I was coming in and went on a quick hunt because I soon discovered that there was only water, soda and iced tea since no one had a bottle opener.

WTF!

And get this, a member of the family became salty, stumbling after he put down an empty hennessy bottle when the groom gave away unopened champagne bottles! The brother of the groom told his sibling to stop and attempted to grab the rest.

It does get worst. A party-goer smashe her face by walking smack dab into a wall, and then the whole party leaves before the end of the party.

I was enraged, but then felt sorry for the bride who was attempting to save face and be apologetic between Pookie and them (the wait staff) collecting plates with ample uneaten food. It is sad to say that people were eating cake to quash hunger pangs.

I learned so much from this reception, but now I am sweating. Why? Because a sister does not have a reception or ceremony site and it is 6 months until the W-day.

My wedding planner and I are still on the hunt for a new reception hall after my horrible decision to get the Cabrillo Bathouse. I'm nervous y'all, I am not fronting.

Send light.

love and balance

darker than blue

The Power of Negotiation During a Recession

Since I am on the hunt once again for a reception site, I have been slightly nervous. My date is 10-10-10, a hot wedding date that people are also preparing to jump the broom. But what I am forgetting is that we are in the midst of economic crises that has tabled a lot of events for at least the next 2 years.

When a venue representative emailed me out of the blue the other day asking if I was still interesed, I told her that her place was too expensive. I added that I would consider the place if she offered a discount. She told me she was willing to negotiate, now I am waiting for her numbers.

I was flat out surprised! Now I know that negotiating is a must, even if there was not a recession. Often as women we don't negotiate like we should; however, there is a new day, I'm gonna be haggling like Imma a likkle street vendor until I jump this broom.

love and balance

darker than blue

It's Not Back to the Drawing Board, I Don't Think So..or is it really?

Planning a wedding long-distance is nerve-wrecking for a borderline type-A person like myself. And what I am learning is patience and collaboration.

Before I hired a wedding planner, my sister helped me pick out a reception site, the Cabrillo Bath House. To prepare for decor, my wedding planner visited the site and gave it a quadruple thumbs down.

Here are some of the issues she found out:
Bad lighting
Horrible paint job
Paid parking
Under-maintained building
Second floor venue with crappy elevator
Undesirable bathroom
Hidden fees in the contract

Her reasons paralleled mine, including some things in the contract she pointed out that could be problematic. I must admit I have not seen the contract because my sister filled it out. This is a huge mental note, and an admitted huge mistake. Never commit until you read every damn thing.

Also they had this shitty policy about beverages that was insane! We could only use a beverage vendor by the name of Monterey Concessions. Not only was the lady whom I spoke to rude, the information she quoted over the phone was different than what she emailed. Bad sign, and honestly, I did not have a good feeling about it.

Eulina thought I would be pissed, but honestly, I knew that this might happen, so hey, as Jay-Z says, "On to the next one."

I must say, I really enjoy my wedding planner, she is helping me make smarter choices.

love and balance
darker than blue

Unblinging the Engagement Ring

I could not sleep if I wore the annual income of an African village on my hand. So when Sun-Rah and I were talking about engagement rings (yes he wears one too) we both agreed to be simple, budget conscious, and stick to our afro-boho-chic selves.

I had been searching sites for black jewelers who make African-inspired jewelry and discovered three.

After combing through all of the hideous costume jewelry sites, lackluster bands on Etsy.com, I found Glenn Lewis, a highly regarded jewelry who is from the US, but according to the site, he lives in Ghana. His jewelry uses Egyptian and Ghanaian or Adinkra symbols for rings, pendants for necklaces, intricate jewelry boxes. Oh my and his work, incredible.

Lewis was very attractive for several reasons. For one, he participated in fair trade on several levels. According to his site and some articles I dug up, he partners with local jewelers and metal companies to ensure its employees were duly compensated. Also, he has taught classes at several institutes in Ghana on metallurgy and jewelry making.

I immediately squealed and yanked Sun-Rah over to the computer screen so he could see what I've found. I emailed Lewis and waited. One week went by, I emailed him again, then about four more times and did not get a reply.

I revisited Lewis' site and saw that his last speaking engagement was in 2007. I was so desperate to get in contact with him I scoured the Internet, but came up cold, even in the obituary section. Sadly, I had to search some more and found another deliciously beautiful jeweler.

The next company I found was the Jendayi Collection, located in my hometown of Los Angeles. Sun-Rah saw several pieces he loved, and so I decided to visit the place when I visited my family. The store was in the Baldwin Hills Crensaw Plaza, a mall located in a very popular African-American pocket of the city.

The saleswoman was okay, not anything to brag about or throw away. She seemed like a family friend who needed a job, but wasn't really all into selling her cousin's jewelry. Nonetheless, the love from the husband of the owner/jewelry designing team was there and he was so sweet and cool, he became the selling point. The couple/owners make a lot of pieces for black Hollywood and I have seen him throughout the cultural circuit of Los Angeles, and he has always been a good brother. I definitely would love to support that.

While there, I spotted the ring I wanted and asked about the price. It was very reasonable, about $1000, but as a grad student that was a little steep, so I kept my options open.

Then, I remembered bumping into an NYC jeweler on Myspace who makes Erykah Badu's big Ankh rings and bracelets. A master craftsman, S.o. Patah creates whatever your heart desires. I liked Patah's work, but it was too expensive and a little too gaudy for me. I wanted something that made a statement, something that was more than simple, but not ostentatious.

Then I re-thought this whole recession thing and asked myself if I really wanted to spend a thousand or more on a ring at this time. And the answer was no.

Sun-Rah and I decided that if and when we could, or even cared to, we would upgrade in the future.

So I began to peruse discount sites and came across the perfect ring. A black onyx ring with a heart on the top. What better to say "black love" than this. Also, I read up on black onyx and found it as a stone for people to center oneself, and in the craziness of preparing for a unification ritual, the onyx was what I needed.

And you would never believe the price, $13.99! Ahhh, I love black love.

love and balance
darker than blue