My Dream Venues...Some of Them

I am still on the hunt for a venue, but I was asked recently, "If I had the means and my invitees had the time, where would I really want to get married?"

Good question.

I really don't know of one specific place, but I have some things in mind that I would be gushy all over.

1. On the Nile. To start a new beginning @ the place of many beginnings. Wow.

2. A New Orleans second line...
















....in the middle of the Nokia Plaza.











3. A black-owned Vineyard in Napa Valley or South Africa


4. Overlooking Los Angeles in the ATT Building

5. Ahh, the Oberoi in Jaipur, India

6. A fascinating hidden gem in Puerto Rico, and one of the world's best beaches. You can have me jump in the broom at Casa de la Loma in Culebra, a small island just east of the main island PR.

7. Sofitel Agadir Royal Beach — Agadir, Morroco (Sun-Rah's pick)


8. Mandarin Hotel in NYC looking over the fabulous skyline

10 Things I Hate About Shitty Venue Representatives

Today I feel like the sister in the photo. Please don't fuck with me today.

So here I am, five months to go and I have not found a venue. But I have learned a lot about myself in the proces; in particular the bullshit I will not tolerate, but have been dealing with in speaking with venue coordinators regarding their places.

Los Angeles and its pretentious crap has even event planners acting like they are Hollywood. You know, the star bullshit that "celebs" do like not calling back or igging you because they think they have the power.

What?

Don't even try it. I am two seconds from hiring the band from "Treme" and we will run a second line during half time at a Lakers game and shut shit down.

Okay, so now that I have vented, I can continue....

I've noticed on the the gazillion wedding sites that they always give tips to the bride or consumer about how to get the best deals and such; but today I have some advice for venue representatives in a 10 point list.

Read this, it might get you some needed business in the financial crisis.

10 - Please remember that you are in a recession and those astronomical prices you still try to fling my way will not get you any business.

9 - Please don't lie about the majesty of the place and have me drive all the way there only to stop myself short of not spitting in your face for lying to me.

8 - Recent photos of your venue that also include the outside of your establishment.

7 - Please have the current catering, bartending and venue rental prices on the PDF file you send me.

6 - Please do not act like you are doing me a favor by talking to me

5 - Pick up your damn phone, answer your emails, and call back within the same business day, NOT two weeks later.

4 - Don't play dumb or change your story when I arrive acting as if you don't remember what we spoke about.

3 - Remember to press mute when you put me on hold so I don't hear you talking about me because I pointed out your blatant lies.

2 - Make sur your venue is cleaned before I visit.

1 - I am black, not a terrorist. We don't need five security guards at our parties. If you can't handle people of color, pack up your shit and go.

On the 10th Winner Tanya Turner Marshall Says, "Wed on An Off Day"

Newlywed and wedding planner Tanya Turner-Marshall suggested that I negotiate my wedding reception on an off day to lower costs and get better deals.

The Louisiana native had 400 folks at her wedding last fall, so she is a negotiating goddess.

As I researched, I saw that that is becoming a trend. Thursday, Friday, and even Wednesday weddings are supplementing traditional Saturday and Sunday nuptials.

I recently had a friend tell me she is getting married on a Thursday this summer to offset costs a venue that is very popular and plush in Paris. As a result she is paying 30% less.

Although, I cannot rescind my date due to travel commitments and hotel contracts, I do think this is a great idea for wedding parties where mosts of your guests are local, or small, or the planning is way in advance.

People thought I was tripping, but I am so about getting some advice. Hey this is recession Bay-be.

Congrats Tanya! Your money is coming honey.

READ Tanya's Advice

In my process I went through each detail offered and asked them to take off things I really didnt' need or could do witgout. While doing that I also asked them what was the slowest time of the year or week for them and with that knowlwedge I took a date that they normally wouldn't make any money and got it for $200 less than the original asking... See More. ... See MoreDon't be afriad to ask questions and to shop around. Remmember that your dream location may not always be the best for you and they are in a business and you are what keeps them going. Have multiple quotes on hand from competitiors and do price comparisons right there with them, you will be surprised

Platinum Indian Weddings

My jaw dropped when my co-worker from Southern India told me that she had a four-day wedding with 500 guests. I'm flipping over 100. I wanted to ask her why, but she was in the midst of a bitter divorce just after two years and I didn't want to go there.

Several months after that I spoke to a male colleagues who is Indian and he explained the relevance of the big extravagant, muti-day weddings. According to him, the merging of families is the core of a society and must be treated as such, the zenith of all ceremonies.

Not only does the couple and their parents invite people, but extended relatives offer invitations as well. As it was explained to me, an uncle's wife can invite her family, and then they invite people like their neighbors.

Unfortunately, the US does not support such lavish weddings as I would have had to have been a surrogate mother three times just to put down a down payment for that.

Nevertheless, the concept gives us all something to think about.

Family is your wealth. Here is a Sikh's wedding. Observe the opulence that puts platinum weddings to shame.

Wedding Rituals: Zulu Wedding Dances

Sun-Ra's family jokes about our ethnic flair by nicknaming me Afrika Bambata and him, Shaka Zulu.

I smile at the compliment.

In return, I am thinking about giving them something straight from the Motherland.

On a serious note, Sun-Ra and I are getting a lot of helpful advice about the direction to go for the wedding. Many people are telling us to have a low budget wedding and a fabulous honeymoon. We are trying to balance both and are lucky that we are globetrotters and unpampered backpackers who can go a lot of places on the cheap and enjoy immensely.

But we gotta have a ceremony that solidifies our union to the community whether we want it or not. Rituals are important. I argue that black folk don't have enough rituals and the ones we do have we've forgotten much of the meaning.

As I was ho-humming about wedding stress, a friend of mine confirmed my inner thoughts around ceremonies and gatherings. Her story, she went to the courthouse and called it a day. Now she regrets it.

Though I would love to take the day easy, I have a 92-year-old grandmother that I will honor. That is the tradition in me that I recognize. To jump the broom in front of my matriarch is important and is just one of my blessings.

But as I put together this afro-boho-cosmo-chic affair, I ran across this lovely video of a Zulu Wedding Dance.

I think I might give them exactly what they tease me about, Zulu.
Zulu wedding maidens dance at ceremony. Click on photo to check out the dance and some explanation.