Losing My Virtue in U.S.V.I.

Ever had an orgasm in a pirate's castle? Well, I did one night. After being driven up a narrow cobble-stoned road on hot day in Charlotte Amalie, the small, but bustling capital of St. Thomas Virgin Island, I excitedly squealed at the stunning view before me.

Overlooking the lazy harbor as it accented the view of vividly painted houses indiscreetly situated on hills opulent in vegetation, for a minute I was in heaven. The bed and breakfast I visited was Blackbeard's Castle, once a fortress for treachery and debauchery, and a lookout for the Danes who once occupied the island, the site is now one of the island's noted couple getaways.

The room I stayed in was a mixture of the new and convenient pleasantries of the latest inns, but maintained an old world field. Ensconced in beautiful silence, it was just the type I needed for an intense night of self-reflective or profound, swashbuckling lovemaking.

The next day, I continued a tour called Made in the USVI; however, I must admit, in no particular order am I telling this story…just from found recollections. I recall the potency of enticing scents bouncing off the walls of Gail Garrison's Island Fragrances. A local store operated by a sister with unrivaled perseverance, and damn good products that she makes with flowers, fruits & herbs grown locally. The essences of mangoes, frangipani, hibiscus and passionflower are found in everything from her perfumes to men's aftershave. Garrison was rivaling Bath & Body Works with natural fragrances when things such as Carol's Daughters and the long list of smell-good lathers & lotions were just a notion.

Also, how could I forget the Broom Man, who perfected the art of interweaving African tradition and the island's rich culture into brooms of palm fronds? Or Cheryl Miller's tasty jams, jellies, and sauces void of the pesticides and soulless manufactured mush.

For me, there were two pungent experiences on St. Thomas. I was given directions to a local market where the local women would bring their wares and produce to sell. I was told it was the former auction block that evolved into another type of marketplace. Deep.

I was so enthused to see the older sisters in starched white dresses with palm frond hats that resembled Fulani nomads; I took the liberty of snapping photos. Well, they all turned their backs and some hissed at me. A man pulled me aside and said that it was an insult to take pictures of them without their permission. I was lucky because he told me that they usually threw fruit.

I was very embarrassed and checked myself. I was treating my folk like they were zoo displays. I'm from Los Angeles, South Central that is, and if anybody came up to me snapping photos, I would have thought it was the police and probably cursed them out while confiscating the camera. So yes, I understood…that was a lesson I needed to learn.



The second experience was when we flew to what is the most subdued island water in the Caribbean, St. Croix. The third of the Virgin Island trinity, it is the only island in the West Indies completely surrounded by the Caribbean Sea. The warmth and peace of the salty water was like an oversized Jacuzzi, but cleaner so I spent as much time as I could to float in the quiet waves, or as the folks told me, sea bathe.

In the square, there was a quaint women's marketplace that sold foods, hand-crafted items, and one woman, with the humblest spirit offered an organic body product-line called Selah. A company named after her and created for one of her daughters who suffer from eczema, the Rastafarian sister's product was alive with spirit. She told me that she walked through the bush and was told what herbs to pick to make her line. I took some home for my niece who battles dry-skin and it really worked.

St. Croix is such a picturesque island that it was hard for me to part.

The nine-mile island of St. John is more wildlife than residential. Home of the home of the Virgin Island National Park it is great to lazily sail around the island waving kisses to the nearby Tortola British Virgin Island. At one juncture on St. John, it is only a one-mile swim to the island that has built quite a reputation for Headonistic parties during full moons. This legend was built on the backs of (mostly) white tourists that come and dump their deviance on a vulnerable island that depends on tourism as a main source of income.

St. John also hosts quite a few artisan studios and galleries. I perused through several class makers, sculptures, and other magicians creating awe-inspiring pieces from thin air. There selection of places to stay has increased since I've visited; however, it is more B&B focused and rental condos, homes, or apartments where you just do you. After all, two-thirds of the island is preserved for wildlife, which also is a sight to behold.

In some ways St. Thomas is idyllic, especially if you find a driver to take you into the mountains and convene with the real day-to-day folk who make the island. I actually hopped on a city bus that went the furthest into the island and got a private showing free of blaring conversation by a tour guide or cheesy tourists.

In others, it can be quite a party. There are nightly clubs that range from rub-a-dub to hip-hop to pop and house along the tourism path. However, the best party is during St. Thomas' carnival which is in the beginning of spring. This year it is the first week of April.

The zenith of my trip was a visit to the cigar shops…yes, you heard right. I think I took my love of stogies from another life, but I totally indulged in a variety of a dozen cigars. Also, I could not leave without getting a couple of bottles of Cruzan rum. That sugar cane works miracles.

For those of you who prefer diving into clothes, jewelry, hand-made shoes, island spices, and all the like, the duty-free shopping in the Virgin Island is actually the best of the Caribbean. Plus, you can barter as well and not get into a lot of hoopla with the shopkeepers and vendors since they are American citizens and don't sweat you like other islands where the exchange rate in currency is absolutely exploitative. However, your money will stretch longer with the vendors.

A Pot & A Hot Plate

For years I was a strict vegan until I broke down in South America and ate some grilled fish when I couldn't find a good restaurant that catered to my lifestyle. What I know now probably would have kept me on that path, a food regimen I wish I would've stuck to some days. Any who, I still am very sensitive to a host of foods I haven't eaten since 1994. Sometimes I break out in hives or have an itchy face when I unintentionally consume something that I'm not used to.

For example, a couple of years ago right before I was to take a spa getaway weekend in Temecula, Calif., my aunt made a batch of collard greens for the holidays. She put pork in it, though she told me otherwise. I took a bite and spit them out! Unfortunately, that did not save me, not even five minutes later, my lips started swelling and I had hives around my mouth and nose the whole weekend. I was miserable, but the red clay bath and mineral spa made me feel somewhat better. Oh well, I just charge those incidents to the game and keep it pushing.

That incident wasn't as bad as the time I drank liquor after abstaining for six years and damn near threw up on the most hideous blind date I have ever experienced. On a serious note, your health is the most important thing when you travel, and now I take measures by taking a snack stash during my travails. It is something like hood girl meets the ultimate survivor equates to a badasssss sister preparation kit. I bring water, trail mix, some granola bars, spirulina, roasted seaweed, and senna capsules (this keeps the bowels moving).

Another tip was dropped on me when I was reading this Yoga magazine some months ago. An instructor said that she brings a hot plate and a pot wherever she goes to stick to her simple foods. She also takes a bag of rice and lentils to prepare in her room. Brilliant! Not only does it keep you on track, but it cuts your traveling costs. Now, I'm not saying eat beans and rice every day, but if you supplement one meal with a hot plate and pot dish, or something you can prepare on your own, that puts spending money in your pocket for something else.

Of course there are some places where you can't transport produce, so consider dried fruits, veggies, and nuts. Also, snack bars such as granola bars go a long way too. I took some ginger treats, soy beef jerky, and protein bars. Besides the gas I got from all the soy in the fake jerky and protein bars, I was good!

Buddy Pass Nightmare

Who would’ve thought the 90 degree weather and gorgeous landscape of Los Angeles would be my worst nightmare? I surely didn’t, but I was stuck in LAX airport, sick as a dog, on my cycle, and oh, wearing the same panties for two days. That was not a good look. So let me tell you my little story of the buddy pass nightmare.

In the past, I have heard several people speak of using the privileges of family or close friends who work for various airlines. They are given deeply discounted tickets called a "Buddy Pass". Since I’m juggling a doctoral program and expensive East Coast living, this "opportunity" fit my budget.

When I took my trip, I soon found out that in the long run, you waste time, money, and possibly, your sanity.

The catch with the Buddy Pass system is that you are placed on standby with other people who have Buddy Passes. The people in standby fill up empty seats on the plane. However, it is not on a first come, first serve basis. You are placed in order of seniority, which is according to the hire date and status of the airline employee you went through. Within this system, all employees who want to fly on your flight are given top priority of all Buddy Pass users. With my "hook up" I was placed on the bottom of every flight. That is where I got stuck.

Going to Los Angeles, was okay. I was booked to leave at 8 am, and ended up being on a 4:50 pm flight. I was so anxious I shrugged off the wait and just said "bump it, let me go see my folks". While there, I caught a killer flu with night chills, an ugly cough and phlegm everywhere. That was so not sexy. I couldn’t wait to just go back to the east and rest.

Leaving Los Angeles was the killer. My destination only had about five to six flights a day, and in the middle of Easter holiday and Spring break, everybody was trying to leave. The first day, everything was booked solid and probably about 7 standbys got through. I was exhausted, so I left before the last two flights and re-booked for the next day. That day the standby list went up to 30 people, and some names were asking for three and four seats! The way everybody else and their mama were being called to board, it felt like everyone had the lottery ticket, but me.

To top it off, LAX is such a busy and grossly underdeveloped airport. It is ill-equipped to handle large crowds and many of the terminals have a limited and substandard selection of restaurants and stores. And of course, I was at one of the bootleg terminals. How many flimsy burritos and wraps can a sister eat?

Finally, my parents who were getting tired of dropping me off and picking me back up volunteered to buy me a ticket. I was embarrassed and humbled. By the third day, I was finally in New York and looking like holy hell. I missed three days of school, and two days of work. Not a good look, hey, but I’m here to tell you. I’s made it!

Let me note I’m not totally knocking the Buddy Pass system. I would do it again if I had to and I think it is a great incentive for employees. I have heard great stories about the Buddy Pass system, but I suggest for future users to do their homework on the destinations of their choice.

If it is a hot-spot city like Los Angeles, Miami, and New York, check the seat availability on the flights before you commit. Also, in high travel season, you might want to go somewhere less busy or consider paying full price.

A frequent Buddy Pass user suggested one should consider red-eye flights, but I’ve noticed that they have become quite popular for people paying full fare.

Whatever, your mode of travel, the best thing to do is plan for a rainy day. In my case, I forgot my umbrella.

Guest House Accommodations: Deep Travel Discounts

The second and sometimes biggest expense in traveling is food and lodging, especially if you opt to patronize a large hotel chain. For example, I stayed at a hotel that was $800 US dollars a night in Barbados. It was a top-of-the-line, all-inclusive luxury hotel, but with that amount of money, I could’ve gotten more for a lot less.

Years ago while visiting Bermuda I was introduced to the concept of guest housing. It is where the local people rent out a portion, or all, of their house, to tourists for a fraction of the fee you would pay at a hotel. You usually get meals with the package, and if need be, alcoholic beverages, and most importantly, an authentic view of the region you are visiting.

Often, if you are a nice cool guest, your hosts’ family and neighbors show you around at a minimal cost or even no charge…something you would not experience at a Hilton that charges you for everything.

For instance, in Barbados, the tourists in the nearby hotels and inns were charged $75 and $100 US dollar for 20 minutes on a jet ski! Me, I went to the beach with a local friend and was given a free ride, plus a nice coconut drink (with a splash of rum). For the price of shooting-the-shit and talking Island-American politics, that night, I was introduced to local eateries and clubs popular to the island folk. I was embraced as one of the local people (more so a pseudo-local) and charged significantly less than a tourist.

Some people might purse their lips in disapproval at the thought of living at someone else’s home, but just think of the hundreds or even thousands of people, even pets that have slept on that hotel room you have stayed in…no matter how fancy it has been. Owners of guest homes are usually very proud of their abodes and give you the best, even if it is off of their own backs. And their food can be off the chain! Guest House owners want to provide you with a sound impression to keep you coming back and to garner more business from your referrals. Also, many are interested in forging a genuine connection that could even lead to a future home swap if comfortable.

How do you find a good guest house?

For first timers, ask a trusted friend or professional of possible lodging that suits your tastes. Check their referrals and collect references to ensure that the homes are legit. You would be surprised at the number of guest homes popping up in high travel regions. Many are from natives, and even foreigners that have made some tropical island their home are cashing in, in this fast-growing small venture. It is always easy to use this resource in a region that speaks your same language or accommodates your language needs.

If you don’t have any contacts, it is best to arrange for a day or two in a hotel then go search for accommodations. Where do you go? Start with the people who work in your hotel, they are great resources and can usually connect you.

If not check the phone book and newspapers or ask local tourist agencies and travel bureaus. Guest homes are usually numerous. It might seem a hassle, but it can be very adventurous and your first lesson at learning your place of travel.

Also, one point of contention I must profess are rude and snooty travelers. If you are a difficult person, it will be best to stay at hotel. You will not have a good time because local people love to please, but they don’t take any bullshit. I just spoke to a guest house on one of the out islands of Bahamas and she said she avoids anyone who is rude, overly demanding, or snappy on the phone…so all you prissy and crabby people BEWARE!

How do I pay?

Usually, a down payment is needed for guest homes because they rely on committed customers and those who are not wish-washy. It is best to pay a small portion up front (roughly 10%) and the rest once you arrive. Now, I must say, if you commit and you are not satisfied, it might be tough getting that 10 percent back, so be very sure of your choice.

As far as cash or credit card, I prefer cash and a receipt to ensure that nothing else is charged to my name. If a charge card is mandatory, get one that is a little bit more than what you have to pay for the hotel so there will not be any illegal activity that will have your pockets slim.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

All-in-all it is best to try guest homes in an area you are familiar. If you are too green, you can get caught up. However, most of the predators are the visitors rather than the locals. So when you see an overly-tanned white man, hold your purse and RUN!

Hair Myths or Hair Facts? You Decide

Essence.com posted an article on hair myths, see if you agree with Tia Williams' post.

Top Five Black Hair Myths

What's true and what's not when it comes to black hair? celebrity hairstylist Ursula Stephen set rumors straight.

By Tia Williams

While it goes without saying that we adore our grandmothers, some of the hair gems they passed down to us could be filed under "Old Wives Tales" (raise your hand if you thought white hair naturally grew faster than Black hair). Here, we sat down with celebrity hairstylist Ursula Stephen -- she's responsible for Rihanna's trendsetting tresses -- to get the real deal on the top five Black hair myths.

MANE MYTH: Trimming your hair will make it grow faster.

TRESS TRUTH: "While frequent trims are great for removing split ends, they don't actually make your hair grow faster," says Ursula. That being said, don't skip your trims! If you ignore split ends for too long, they can creep up the hair shaft, and then you'll need to snip off more than you bargained for. Regular snips every 6 to 8 weeks will keep your coif looking crisp and clean.

Click here for more of the story.