Gurl, Get Your Money's Worth

You should not play full price for anything these days. Have you seen the signs, 20 percent off, 50 percent off, everything must go.

And though the wedding industry has a reputation of gouging wide-eyed brides and grooms, it does not have to be like that.
I am honoring my budget-consciousness and my wedding will be fabulous.

In fact, this depression is forcing everyone to re-evaluate and re-price goods and services, and that includes the wedding industry.

Two months ago I had a photographer quote me $2,000.00 to take photos at my wedding. I was floored! And I told him I would like to negotiate that price, but he said that he didn't negotiate, at all—then proceeded to tell me that if a potential client did not like his prices, he always had someone else in the wings.

Of course my black woman neck started circling and I said in my head, "Oh hell no, you will not have my business." I went about my way and found other options that were better priced, and the photographers were extremely accommodating.

I don't care what type of business patronage the first photographer claimed he had, everyone has been affected by the financial climate. EVERYBODY.

Negotiating is everything with this wedding. I am learning fast, and in some cases, in uncomfortable ways. Though I must admit, I have been getting blessed with great deals.

So let me give you some of the huge finds:
My wedding planner (who has bent over backwards) was a steal and has become a dear friend. Plus she finagled hotel rooms @ the JW Marriot Staple Center for the lowest group price rate that the hotel offers.

The wedding venue is a top-notch place that has been featured on Wedding Central. I got a 50% discount.

My future mother-in-spirit found a soap mold of the Adinkra symbol and is making chocolates as souvenirs.

I just saw some Old Navy fuchsia flip-flops I want to purchase for my circle of sisters who will be walking with me through this. The shoes are $1.49 with a 30% discount on top of that.

The flowers and decor will be purchased in the flower district in downtown LA @ bulk prices that are a fraction of flower shops.

These are just some of the savings I am using to make sure I get good quality at budget-conscious prices.

But I must stress, you must be damn near vigilante, even when you don't want to, and even when you are not doing wedding things. It is something that must become habit.

For instance, I purchased some spices at some frou-frou place in an upper-class side of town this weekend. The woman shorted me 8 cents change from the 88 cents I was supposed to get. I slowly counted my money and didn't move. She smiled, and I smiled right back and told her I was waiting for my change. She admitted that she did not have the rest and just had dollars. So I asked for a full dollar and gave her the 80cents. When she said she couldn't do it, I told her to give me my refund.

My money is precious and I work hard. The last think you will do is short me and I accept it. I have to admit, I am still learning, but an old Jewish told me one day, "Count your pennies and you don't have to worry about your dollars."

Love & Balance
Namibia Indigo

On the 10th Winner Tanya Turner Marshall Says, "Wed on An Off Day"

Newlywed and wedding planner Tanya Turner-Marshall suggested that I negotiate my wedding reception on an off day to lower costs and get better deals.

The Louisiana native had 400 folks at her wedding last fall, so she is a negotiating goddess.

As I researched, I saw that that is becoming a trend. Thursday, Friday, and even Wednesday weddings are supplementing traditional Saturday and Sunday nuptials.

I recently had a friend tell me she is getting married on a Thursday this summer to offset costs a venue that is very popular and plush in Paris. As a result she is paying 30% less.

Although, I cannot rescind my date due to travel commitments and hotel contracts, I do think this is a great idea for wedding parties where mosts of your guests are local, or small, or the planning is way in advance.

People thought I was tripping, but I am so about getting some advice. Hey this is recession Bay-be.

Congrats Tanya! Your money is coming honey.

READ Tanya's Advice

In my process I went through each detail offered and asked them to take off things I really didnt' need or could do witgout. While doing that I also asked them what was the slowest time of the year or week for them and with that knowlwedge I took a date that they normally wouldn't make any money and got it for $200 less than the original asking... See More. ... See MoreDon't be afriad to ask questions and to shop around. Remmember that your dream location may not always be the best for you and they are in a business and you are what keeps them going. Have multiple quotes on hand from competitiors and do price comparisons right there with them, you will be surprised

Respect My Money! How One Simple Tip Can Earn You $50

My wedding is extraordinary and gorgeous.
My wedding is extraordinary and gorgeous.
My wedding is extraordinary and gorgeous.

That is my daily mantra as I take on the hard lessons in this process of sealing the union between me and Amen-Rah.

I have been scratching my head in disappointment at the gimmicks that people pull when you call about venues, vendors, and all things related to weddings.

Let me be honest, weddings are a cash cow industry, and companies, corporations, and people have been exploiting something that should be pure love.

Number #1 Question I DESPISE is, "What's your budget?"

I woke up in the middle of the night with a voice telling me that I will never tell any possible vendor my budget AGAIN.

All I am sure about is that every person will respect my hard-earned money.

How do you do that? I am still working on the resolve. And frankly I need your help. That is why I have made my first recession proof giveaway on better ways to negotiate a venue vendor.

Help me by helping you. I am dishing out $50 from one of the tips that you give. And I need some good advice.

I Am Not a Superwoman, So I Hired a Wedding Planner

Eulina mentioned something that sealed the deal. She said, "Women, especially black women think that they can do it all, and when they try to do everything they end up not enjoying anything about their event."

It was at that point I hired Eulina Morris of Creating Remarkable Events. She understood me. (Photo Caption: Eulina Morris Wedding Planner)

I realized a long time ago that I am not a superwoman and have no desire to be every and anything all the time.

I am a doctoral student who holds a part time job and teaches anywhere from three to five classes. I am beyond busy already, plus I have no clue about a wedding since I wasn't the type who dreamed of how it will look or what I would wear.

With my lack of knowledge of weddings, I knew I was entering into an area I was totally unfamiliar.

But I was sure of one thing. I did not want to be the burned out superwoman on my wedding day. And I want my family members to show up beautiful, relaxed and ready to celebrate.

Nonetheless, the decision of hiring a wedding planner was not without a fight. I looked at some planners a couple of months ago and thought, "My sister can do that."

My sister, who we call "Pookie Bird" got married three years ago. Everything that you didn't want to happen happened. I figured that anyone who went through the hells she did, could put together a good damn wedding. She had so many opportunities to learn an abundance of lessons I guessed she was a pro after she pulled that one off.

I called Pookie and she was excited and supportive. I gave her the proposal along with a payment of services. Immediately, she was on it---asking me about colors, venues, bridesmaids, and all the particulars that I did not have an answer.

The next week she was combing Los Angeles looking for a venue that was reasonable. But life happened.

Her husband was laid off just like she was right after she had their infant daughter. Both of them were casualties of a crumbling Cali economy. Now, she had to really look for a job in between being an active mommy of three, a wife, and a conscious community member.

The next items were finding a caterer and securing a hotel, but Pookie's youngest got sick, then she caught a cold, and her car broke down again. Who had time plan a wedding?

I was getting impatient, but I had to understand my sister's situation. Nonetheless, I couldn't neglect mine.

So, I started looking for a wedding planner. I had been visiting http://www.forblackweddings.com/ and other sites to get an understanding of what I should be looking for. For Black Weddings, gives excellent tips on what to expect in wedding planning from the beginning to the end---from wedding songs to a bridal emergency kit.

I read and read, and honestly, I still didn't know what I wanted or where I was going.

I was getting so frustrated I just wanted to call it off and I was just starting. Instead of quitting, I went to research wedding planners. Since Los Angeles has a small black population (we only make up about 4 percent), I wanted to recycle my black dollars so I went to http://blacknla.com/ and looked at caterers. I emailed and phoned them all.

Eulina was the first one to call. I listened to what she said and wrote notes based on her tips and advice. I spoke to others, but it came down to two potentials, and Eulina's simple statement sealed the deal.

Other things that were important was she was budget-friendly, flexible, full of energy, very responsive, and listened to my concerns before I even signed a contract. I feel totally comfortable with my choice and I can't wait to jump into the process again.

love and balance
darker than blue