Bewitching Cruise Germs

As I was boarding Royal Caribbean this summer, attendants stood at every door passing out Purel sanitary wipes. My first reaction was, "What the fu*k!?" Then there was this recorded message from the captain in each room explaining that there was a virus that was spreading, especially on cruise ships. He encouraged everyone to take safety measures, but also encouraged people to do civilized things like washing their hands and ass before they ate.

Cruise ships bring a whole wave of folk. Many of the travelers are from the United States, Europe, Austrailia, and Canada—with splotches of other nationalities. Also, much of the workers come from different parts. Then you have the day trips to different tropical islands that bring another element. There are so many factors in getting sick, but the main one is tht there is a huuuuuuuuggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeee cultural divide in the concept of cleanliness.

Other than the nightly vomit spots and secretions on some lawn chairs, you can come into contact with the serious shit—literally. Since I was a pool lifeguard for 10 years I don't care too much for chlorinated water, so I stay away from pools. The main reason—on several occasions, the swimming facilities on the ship was terminated because people defecated in the pool.

As a pool lifeguard, I know about these disgusting situations. In order for that to be completely removed, a pool's water has to gradually be sucked out while new water comes in while buckets of chlorine and acid (to balance the PH levels of the water). However, the Royal Caribbean used recycled water and that shit is not fly. Recycled water brings a host of illnesses that can be deadly to children, the elderly, and those with weakened immune systems. If you check out water parks, they must deal with that regularly.

During my time on the Royal Caribbean, I did not go into the pool area, but as a water baby and member of the black surfer's association I tried out a simulated surfer machine. I thought the water was like the other cruises where they siphoned water from the sea. This is much cleaner because salt is great for getting rid of infections. Every went into the ocean with a cut! Ouch!

Anyway, the water on the Wind Surfer was recycled and it was dingy as hell. So I was swimming in piss, suntan lotion, and all types of body secretion. The next day, my whole body was covered in uncomfortable hives.

Oh, but it didn't stop there. Children were throwing ice cream cones in the Jacuzzi. People were smelling like death ran over them twice. Then there were those that ate directly from the buffet trays with their fingers.

So cruise is pleasurable, but take your personal disinfectant and spray it in your room, and keep some at all times. It can be as simple as a small bottle of rubbing alcohol.