Good & Married

Sun Rah and I have been permanently tied at the hip for 4 months and I can just now say that I have recuperated. I was so exhausted for months and I didn't even want to see a wedding that I am just now getting back to this blog.

Here are a few little words of wisdom that I learned from my experience.

Trust your wedding planner (If they are good).
Rest, rest, rest, rest, rest before your wedding.
Write down all that you need to know before the day because you will forget everything.
Photos are everything.
A good deejay is required.
Good food is a definite.
Wonderful venue seals the deal.

TTYL
Namibia

Gurl, Get Your Money's Worth

You should not play full price for anything these days. Have you seen the signs, 20 percent off, 50 percent off, everything must go.

And though the wedding industry has a reputation of gouging wide-eyed brides and grooms, it does not have to be like that.
I am honoring my budget-consciousness and my wedding will be fabulous.

In fact, this depression is forcing everyone to re-evaluate and re-price goods and services, and that includes the wedding industry.

Two months ago I had a photographer quote me $2,000.00 to take photos at my wedding. I was floored! And I told him I would like to negotiate that price, but he said that he didn't negotiate, at all—then proceeded to tell me that if a potential client did not like his prices, he always had someone else in the wings.

Of course my black woman neck started circling and I said in my head, "Oh hell no, you will not have my business." I went about my way and found other options that were better priced, and the photographers were extremely accommodating.

I don't care what type of business patronage the first photographer claimed he had, everyone has been affected by the financial climate. EVERYBODY.

Negotiating is everything with this wedding. I am learning fast, and in some cases, in uncomfortable ways. Though I must admit, I have been getting blessed with great deals.

So let me give you some of the huge finds:
My wedding planner (who has bent over backwards) was a steal and has become a dear friend. Plus she finagled hotel rooms @ the JW Marriot Staple Center for the lowest group price rate that the hotel offers.

The wedding venue is a top-notch place that has been featured on Wedding Central. I got a 50% discount.

My future mother-in-spirit found a soap mold of the Adinkra symbol and is making chocolates as souvenirs.

I just saw some Old Navy fuchsia flip-flops I want to purchase for my circle of sisters who will be walking with me through this. The shoes are $1.49 with a 30% discount on top of that.

The flowers and decor will be purchased in the flower district in downtown LA @ bulk prices that are a fraction of flower shops.

These are just some of the savings I am using to make sure I get good quality at budget-conscious prices.

But I must stress, you must be damn near vigilante, even when you don't want to, and even when you are not doing wedding things. It is something that must become habit.

For instance, I purchased some spices at some frou-frou place in an upper-class side of town this weekend. The woman shorted me 8 cents change from the 88 cents I was supposed to get. I slowly counted my money and didn't move. She smiled, and I smiled right back and told her I was waiting for my change. She admitted that she did not have the rest and just had dollars. So I asked for a full dollar and gave her the 80cents. When she said she couldn't do it, I told her to give me my refund.

My money is precious and I work hard. The last think you will do is short me and I accept it. I have to admit, I am still learning, but an old Jewish told me one day, "Count your pennies and you don't have to worry about your dollars."

Love & Balance
Namibia Indigo

Weight Loss the Uphill Climb

Like every bride, I want to look my best when I jump the broom. That required me to shed some of this love/stress/winter weight I've picked up the past five years since Amen-Rah and I have been together.

I blogged about losing roughly 40 pounds several months ago. Well, the last time I weighed myself I've shed (drum roll) 6 pounds. Oh yes, I have a lot to go.

And I've been doing everything, from running to weight lifting to swimming. And the pounds have slowly, and I mean extra slowly come off.

I have been eating mostly fruits and veggies, getting colonics, and a whole bevy of stuff, but I came to understand that my weight was emotional and spiritual. I needed to get away from NYC and woosahh.

As a result, I took 2 weeks and went to Los Angeles. While there, a very good friend encouraged me to try Yoga again, and with some doubt I did. And I must say, I was transformed.

I came back to the NYC area with a charge and joined a hot Yoga or Bikram Yoga studio. Honey child, the sweating and postures got me open. Last night I sweat out the 3 Sangrias I had during the TrueBlood season premiere.

I swear by Yoga! Now don't get it twisted, Yoga will have you hella sore afterwards. Get the right instructor and you will begin to work muscles you did not know.

The Yoga has been a life saver because I didn't know how I was gonna shed other than starve myself and anyone who knows me, knows, I will not give up my food.

Jack Pot! I Found the ONE

Whew, after months of digging through Los Angeles, I can relax for a second and celebrate. I found my venue sites! Yay!!!!

For those of you who know my pain understand that this is a huge accomplishment. I am so incredibly happy with the places I selected. Yes, I did say places as in more than one.

It wasn't my plan, but as it played out, I have the opportunity to work with two fabulous sites.

Since I have been advised not to give the information of my wedding site on the web, I will give you a list a great venues that had excellent representatives and are gems in Los Angeles.

I decided to focus on the wonderful spaces rather than give any energy to the shitty ones. I will reserve that at a later time.

Bonaventure Brewing Company is located on the fourth floor of the historical Bonaventure Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. This section of the hotel juts out to an outdoor rooftop like space that has a beer brewing company, restaurant, and lawn space. It is an oasis in the middle of the concrete jungle that you must visit.

http://bonaventurebrewing.com

The food is good and the drinks were wonderful. Oh, and the music selection was just my thing. As I walked around the patio area that is decorated with ivy along the fences and small accents of red, I jammed to E. Badu, J. Scott and Maxwell. Ahh, my type of space.

The venue coordinator, Althea Burnett is this incredibly beautifully spirited woman who loves what she does and does it well. BBC is a hidden gem in Los Angeles. It is very inexpensive to rent. The people who work that are very hospitable, and it is centrally located in a hotel that has a hundred and one things to do. I totally loved this place and recommend it to everyone. Tell Althea that Kaia sent you.

Annenberg Community Beach House was a slice of heaven. The view is gorgeous and people are lining up to use this space for the wedding venue. The Annenberg Beach House used to be the destination where celebrities came to play on the beachside in the early to mid 1900s. Since it has been restored by the city of Santa Monica.

http://beachhouse.smgov.net

I was blown away by the picturesque view of the pool house, but was stopped short because the strict alcohol and catering policies. However, I love to support city and state owned parks and sites because it brings needed revenue to maintaining historical sites that have so much history.

The Kress is for the hip, chic and cosmopolitan Angeleno. I was interested in the rooftop of the old hotel converted into a super, supper club with multiple levels of opulence.

http://thekress.net

Overlooking Hollywod, this space had a long list of good food choices and is great if you want a knock down drag out party. The liquor prices will get you if you have a hosted bar.

The Speak Easy at the Music Box was breathless venue that wowed me. The package that Sarah Quigleygave me left me speechless. Everything from our names on a marquee to the use of several rococo-styled rooms. She also is willing to negotiate and is a helluva person in following up.

http://tmbhollywood.com

I put in a proposal to use the Speakeasy, a rooftop portion of the Music Box, then do the reception inside. She is very, very reasonable.

On the 10th Winner

Once again, Tanya Turner-Marshall gave me some great advice. I guess she is only one of two people who believes I am not a fluke. Houseneva, I dug her suggestions with my Afro-Boho-Cosmo-chic. Some fall reds or rusts, with a khaki or moss green, and yellow-golds on crisp white and a black crisp tux.



After much thought, I came up with a color palette that fuses my love of vivid colors and earth colors with a touch of clean, elegance. i'm working on a fourth color to give it a pop. What do you think?

My Dream Venues...Some of Them

I am still on the hunt for a venue, but I was asked recently, "If I had the means and my invitees had the time, where would I really want to get married?"

Good question.

I really don't know of one specific place, but I have some things in mind that I would be gushy all over.

1. On the Nile. To start a new beginning @ the place of many beginnings. Wow.

2. A New Orleans second line...
















....in the middle of the Nokia Plaza.











3. A black-owned Vineyard in Napa Valley or South Africa


4. Overlooking Los Angeles in the ATT Building

5. Ahh, the Oberoi in Jaipur, India

6. A fascinating hidden gem in Puerto Rico, and one of the world's best beaches. You can have me jump in the broom at Casa de la Loma in Culebra, a small island just east of the main island PR.

7. Sofitel Agadir Royal Beach — Agadir, Morroco (Sun-Rah's pick)


8. Mandarin Hotel in NYC looking over the fabulous skyline

10 Things I Hate About Shitty Venue Representatives

Today I feel like the sister in the photo. Please don't fuck with me today.

So here I am, five months to go and I have not found a venue. But I have learned a lot about myself in the proces; in particular the bullshit I will not tolerate, but have been dealing with in speaking with venue coordinators regarding their places.

Los Angeles and its pretentious crap has even event planners acting like they are Hollywood. You know, the star bullshit that "celebs" do like not calling back or igging you because they think they have the power.

What?

Don't even try it. I am two seconds from hiring the band from "Treme" and we will run a second line during half time at a Lakers game and shut shit down.

Okay, so now that I have vented, I can continue....

I've noticed on the the gazillion wedding sites that they always give tips to the bride or consumer about how to get the best deals and such; but today I have some advice for venue representatives in a 10 point list.

Read this, it might get you some needed business in the financial crisis.

10 - Please remember that you are in a recession and those astronomical prices you still try to fling my way will not get you any business.

9 - Please don't lie about the majesty of the place and have me drive all the way there only to stop myself short of not spitting in your face for lying to me.

8 - Recent photos of your venue that also include the outside of your establishment.

7 - Please have the current catering, bartending and venue rental prices on the PDF file you send me.

6 - Please do not act like you are doing me a favor by talking to me

5 - Pick up your damn phone, answer your emails, and call back within the same business day, NOT two weeks later.

4 - Don't play dumb or change your story when I arrive acting as if you don't remember what we spoke about.

3 - Remember to press mute when you put me on hold so I don't hear you talking about me because I pointed out your blatant lies.

2 - Make sur your venue is cleaned before I visit.

1 - I am black, not a terrorist. We don't need five security guards at our parties. If you can't handle people of color, pack up your shit and go.